***WHIMSICALWILL.COM***
"Demented News" in Real Audio!
Whimsical Will's
"Demented News" Reports in RealAudio!
UPDATED 8/29/10
Complete "Demented News" reports from the Dr. Demento Show are STREAMING in RealAudio!
Here's an archive of requested favorites and recent reports.
THIS WEEK'S "DEMENTED NEWS" REPORT IS HERE!
(Scroll to bottom of page)
- THE MOST REQUESTED "DEMENTED NEWS"!
LISTEN!
- Warning! It's a Whimsical Will tirade!!
- CAN'T POO-POO THIS "DEMENTED NEWS"
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- The oh-so-demented tale of dueling talking poo!
- "DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST
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- This one's for Roadrunner of San Diego, CA: Paramount sues author over book, "How to Have a Romantic Relationship with a 'Star Trek' Fan"; Klingon language lessons revisted; and a 9-year-old Whimsical Will voices the role of "Young Spock"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" FAVORITE!
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Not one, but TWO (count 'em!) stories of exploding toilets and news of extended-life underwear with THREE (count 'em!) leg holes!
"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST!
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Dementoid Matt requested this report from April, 1995, which features a young Whimsical Will as "Christopher Robin"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST!
LISTEN!
Dementoid Deven Combs requested this report from 1998 on the changing value of pi!
REQUEST -- "ROCK RAP"
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Okay, so it's not a "Demented News" report, but long-time Dementoid Benn Allen was kind enough to remember my "Rock Rap" from 1987 (which tells a twisted tale using more than 200 names of rock artists), so I thought I'd upload it here!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/30/09
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8/30/09: Mermaid sighting in Israel; Nigerian man plans to marry pillow!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/6/09
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9/6/09: Goodyear closes "World of Rubber" exhibit; pizza parlor employee uses beer can to thwart would-be robbers!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/13/09
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9/13/09: Florida woman attacks smoker with air freshener; "Star Trek" aftershave and perfume on sale!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/20/09
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9/20/09: Naked Bike Ride in Philly; bank robber asks teller for kiss!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/27/09
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9/27/09: MN man arrested for swearing in public; South African company says carrier pigeon delivers data faster than Internet provider!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/4/09
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10/4/09: Kangaroo terrorizes Australian offices; naked Austrian woman frightens construction workers!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/11/09
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10/11/09: TX man cited for gardening in the nude; OH teen uses Bible pages as rolling paper!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/18/09
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10/18/09: Lamp runs on human blood; how to avoid a zombie attack!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/25/09
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10/25/09: Halloween-themed wedding in PA with vampire bride and groom; lesson in trick-or-treating etiquette with a visit to Dr. Demento's house!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/1/09
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11/1/09: Museum of decorated toilet seats in TX; police respond to WY woman frightened by cardboard cut-out of John Wayne!
[No 11/8/09 "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/15/09
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11/15/09: Iowa man charged with assault after broom fight with maid; Idaho team banned from rink after playing "strip hockey"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/22/09
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11/22/09: South Korea woman passes driving test after 950 attempts; Boston parking valet uses umbrella to ward off would-be thief!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/29/09
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11/29/09: FL man arrested for repeatedly calling 911 looking for sex; holiday "pornaments" back on store shelves!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 12/6/09
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12/6/09: L.A. Customs officials seize drug paraphernalia labeled "Christmas ornaments"; FL man charged with assault with Christmas tree!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 12/13/09
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12/13/09: Norway's massive gingerbread town vandalized; flu bug has Hungarian Santas avoiding contact with children!
[No 12/20/09 or 12/27/09 "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/3/10
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1/3/10: "Bad Breath Bandit" robbing banks in Detroit; MA woman sees Jesus on her iron!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/10/10
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1/10/10: MI man walks into restaurant with knife in chest, orders coffee; MA mom calls police on videogame-playing son!
[No 1/17/10 "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/24/10
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1/24/10: Iowa man gives wife manure message for birthday; SC man steals and "massages" slab of meat!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/31/10
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1/31/10: Moscow highway billboards display pornography; NY subway passengers ride in their underwear!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/7/10
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2/7/10: MI woman bites off part of sister's nose; 200 bales of hay stolen in PA!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/14/10
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2/14/10: Woman finds oven mitt in toast; German TV producers face prosecution over death of goldfish!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/21/10
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2/21/10: Indonesian boy arrested after attacking classmate with bee; Welsh shopkeeper warned by authorities over jokes!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/28/10
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2/28/10: UK man fined for blowing nose in traffic; MA man shoplifts 75 bottles of body lotion down pants!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/7/10
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3/7/10: UK theme park offers dried insects as snacks; FL man robs three banks, calls it a loan!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/14/10
LISTEN!
3/14/10: Alaskan dentist rebuilds eagle's beak; demented St. Patty's day hold-up!
[No 3/21/10 "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/28/10
LISTEN!
3/28/10: Mexico judge punishes tagger by spray-painting butt; NJ police on trail of "Midnight Knitter"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/4/10
LISTEN!
4/4/10: Remembering the all-star, demented Easter Egg Hunt; Mimi as the Easter Bunny!
[No 4/11/10 "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/18/10
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4/18/10: UK grandma has bun from 1821; cat cop in China!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/25/10
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4/25/10: AZ prisoners' television sets run on pedal power; IL school selling alpaca manure as fundraiser!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/2/10
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5/2/10: Argentinian prisoners escape disguised as sheep; TX man jailed for stuffing lead weight in tournament fish!
[The 5/9/10 "Demented News" was pre-empted to make way for my 25th (and final) summer movie adventure, "Hey Iron Man!"!]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/16/10
LISTEN!
5/16/10: German man uses meat hook to siphon electricity from power lines; NY man hits laundromat employee with open bottle of bleach; remembering TX woman who robbed pet store with cup of bleach!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/23/10
LISTEN!
5/23/10: MA woman runs down Lord Jesus Christ; White Castle offers burger-scented candles!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/30/10
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5/30/10: Japanese clothing firm designs bra that grows rice; UK police arrest man in Snoopy costume trying to break into prison!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/6/10
LISTEN!
6/6/10: LA man says God told him to walk naked in the street; Naples pizzerias accused of cooking with used casket wood from local cemeteries.
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/13/10
LISTEN!
6/13/10: Frogs close highway in Greece; WV man burns down house over late dinner!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/20/10
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6/20/10: WI man steals dirty diapers; Mimi's surf report!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/27/10
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6/27/10: Obsession cologne attracts wild jaguars; OR man snips hair of unsuspecting bus passengers!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/4/10
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7/4/10: St. Louis man finds $58 in dog poop; remembering kitchen blown up by fireworks in oven!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/11/10
LISTEN!
7/11/10: TN man threatens Census worker wih torch; abandoned box of ribs in parking lot alerts bomb squad!
[No 7/18/10 "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/25/10
LISTEN!
7/25/10: Shakespeare helps cows produce more milk; remembering Shakespeare in the toilet!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/1/10
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8/1/10: Porky Pig attacked at IL theme park; addressing Boulder City council in underwear no more!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/8/10
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8/8/10: "Bouquet Bandit" uses flowers to rob NY banks; FL man uses crucifix to pry open church donation box!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/15/10
LISTEN!
8/15/10: Man in China addicted to eating light bulbs; remembering oldest working light bulb (still glowing)!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/22/10
LISTEN!
8/22/10: Visiting the National Mustard Museum in WI; SC woman finds cheeseburger in gas tank!
THIS WEEK'S "DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/29/10
LISTEN!
8/29/10: Naked roller coaster ride at UK's Adventure Island; remembering The Armageddon coaster!
- BACK TO THE MAIN INDEX!