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"Demented News" in Real Audio!
"Demented News" Reports in RealAudio!
UPDATED 7/20/08
Complete "Demented News" reports are STREAMING in RealAudio!
Here's an archive of requested favorites and recent reports.
THIS WEEK'S "DEMENTED NEWS" REPORT IS HERE!
(Scroll to bottom of page)
- THE MOST REQUESTED "DEMENTED NEWS"!
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- Warning! It's a Whimsical Will tirade!!
- ANOTHER RECENT "DEMENTED NEWS"
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- The oh-so-demented tale of dueling talking poo!
- "DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST
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- This one's for Roadrunner of San Diego, CA: Paramount sues author over book, "How to Have a Romantic Relationship with a 'Star Trek' Fan"; Klingon language lessons revisted; and a 9-year-old Whimsical Will voices the role of "Young Spock"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" FAVORITE!
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Not one, but TWO (count 'em!) stories of exploding toilets and news of extended-life underwear with THREE (count 'em!) leg holes!
"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST!
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Dementoid Matt requested this report from April, 1995, which features a young Whimsical Will as "Christopher Robin"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST!
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Dementoid Deven Combs requested this report from 1998 on the changing value of pi!
REQUEST -- "ROCK RAP"
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Okay, so it's not a "Demented News" report, but long-time Dementoid Benn Allen was kind enough to remember my "Rock Rap" from 1987 (which tells a twisted tale using more than 200 names of rock artists), so I thought I'd upload it here!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/21/07
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7/21/07: Wildebeest launched into orbit; woman sues over co-workers perfume!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/28/07
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7/28/07: Nursery rhymes jeopardized by pop songs; underwater graduation ceremony!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/4/07
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8/4/07: Driver threatens to eject "too-sexy" passenger from bus; money found in public toilets across Japan!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/11/07
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8/11/07: Woman arrested for kissing painting; pig parts close Chicago freeway; remembering Babe the Pig's adventures in traffic!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/18/07
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8/18/07: Record attempt for largest kazoo ensemble; stuffed teddy bear sparks police alert!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/25/07
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8/25/07: Bangkok officers punished with "Hello Kitty" armbands; DUI suspect tries to eat his own clothes!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/1/07
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9/1/07: Cockatoo with dirty mouth; thieves steal dog doo from woman at bank!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/8/07
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9/8/07: Arizona clothing store offers "butt cam" to aid shoppers' view; Malaysian man practiced as unqualified dentist for 29 years!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/15/07
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9/15/07: Woman cuts off husband's hand over Internet addiction; high-rise window washers get married in the air on their work platform!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/22/07
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9/22/07: Monument to ugly people unveiled in Italy; man charged in Cheetos assault!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/29/07
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9/29/07: Breast implant popped by bee sting; nude carpenter update!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/6/07
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10/6/07: Elderly woman locked in public restroom overnight; airport security finds live iguana in passenger's bra!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/13/07
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10/13/07: Man arrested for coughing; man draws pictures only while sleeping!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/20/07
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10/20/07: From 2000, it's my "Halloween Cut-Up" retelling of Poe's "The Raven"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/27/07
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10/27/07: From 1991, it's a visit to the Great Pumpkin in my 1991 "Halloween Cut-Up"!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/3/07
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11/3/07: Astronaut is armed with whip to keep ISS crew in line; UK restaurant serving squirrel pancakes!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/10/07
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11/10/07: Skirt camouflages as vending machine to ward off attackers; performer has ear grafted onto forearm!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/17/07
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11/17/07: Assault with pickles; thieves armed only with ketchup!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/24/07
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11/24/07: Dancing dentist injures patient; chopsticks bra keeps eating utensils handy!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 12/1/07
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12/1/07: On the trail of that most demented holiday ornament in my "Christmas Cut-Up" from 2004!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 12/8/07
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12/8/07: Getting mauled at the maul in my "Christmas Cut-Up" from 2002 (which uses bits from all the tracks on "Dr. Demento's 30th Anniversary Collection")!
[12/15/07-12/29/07: No "Demented News" report]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/5/08
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1/5/08: Man crowned fastest human calculator; woman knocks out husband with potato!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/12/08
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1/12/08: Entire beach stolen in Hungary; man in Santa hat and G-string arrested in Hollywood!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/19/08
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1/19/08: Granny panties put out fire; woman charged with wiping nose on cop's shirt!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/26/08
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1/26/08: Chocolate-fueled truck makes 2,600-mile trip; man mails bloody cow's head to wife's lover!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/2/08
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2/2/08: Boomerang comes back after 25 years; man sets house on fire after confusing gasoline for alcohol!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/9/08
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2/9/08: Man steals 93 pounds of women's underwear; woman finds mouse foot in jar of pickles, is told it's normal!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/16/08
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2/16/08: Man complains his blow-up doll lost its moan and deflates; all aboard the naked airlines!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/23/08
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2/23/08: Sheep circles on UK farm; remembering crop circles and rotating hedgehogs!
[No 3/1/08 "Demented News"]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/8/08
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3/8/08: Cockroaches in Turkmenistan TV newsroom; song for dogs that is inaudible to humans tops chart in New Zealand!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/15/08
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3/15/08: Pantless man repeatedly visits Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru; shoplifter caught with hanger still in stolen suit!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/23/08
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3/23/08: Residents not allowed to die in French village; clothes made from balloons!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/30/08
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3/30/08: Bear convicted of theft; psychic uses asparagus to tell fortunes!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/6/08
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4/6/08: Russian police station evacuated over grandmother with purse full of hand grenades; Iowa cornfield theft!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/13/08
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4/13/08: New York man tries to pay water bill with toilet paper check; Memphis man sentenced to ten days per word!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/20/08
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4/20/08: Underwater ironing record flattened; court issues protection order for a duck!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/27/08
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4/27/08: UK radio station broadcasts nothing but birds singing; coffee made from cat droppings costs $100 per cup!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/4/08
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5/4/08: Texas man has alligator as passenger; Bulgarian farmer trades wife for goat!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/11/08
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5/11/08: Man eats ballot in Italy elections; remembering the Edible Ballot Society; UK church applies for liquor license!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/18/08
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5/18/08: D.C. man asks God for cheaper gas prices; Serbian beekeeper builds hives shaped like churches to save the insects' souls!
[The 5/25/08 "Demented News" was pre-empted to make way for my 23rd-annual summer movie adventure, "Hey Indy!"]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/1/08
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6/1/08: Iowa couple waves to everyone they see; Utah residents concerned about lack of civility!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/8/08
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6/8/08: Australian driver buckles in case of beer, leaves child on floor; New Orleans Burger King robbed by drag queen!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/15/08
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6/15/08: Washington coffee houses feature scantily-clad servers; Florida man sells ghosts in a bottle!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/22/08
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6/22/08: London bride-to-be postpones wedding over fear of vomiting; San Francisco woman marries Eiffel Tower!
[No 6/29/08 "Demented News"]
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/6/08
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7/6/08: Monks chant CD helps cheese age at Austrian dairy farm; UK woman trapped in clothes dryer!
"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/13/08
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7/13/08: Cell phone recharges with dance power; UK boy obsessed with lawn mowers!
THIS WEEK'S "DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/20/08
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7/20/08: UK dentist sings opera, gets record deal; Mimi's beach report!
- BACK TO THE MAIN INDEX!