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"Demented News" in MP3!
Whimsical Will's
"Demented News" Reports in MP3!

UPDATED 12/10/17

Complete "Demented News" reports by Whimsical Will from the Dr. Demento Show in MP3!
Here's an archive of the past year and requested favorites.




THIS WEEK'S "DEMENTED NEWS" REPORT IS HERE!
(Scroll to bottom of page)


THE MOST REQUESTED "DEMENTED NEWS"! LISTEN!
Warning! It's a Whimsical Will grammar tantrum (from 1995)!

"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST LISTEN!
From 2012, it's a exclusive interview with Mars rover, Curiosity!

"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST LISTEN!
From 2010, it's a demented look at airport security!

"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST LISTEN!
This one's for Roadrunner of San Diego, CA: Paramount sues author over book, "How to Have a Romantic Relationship with a 'Star Trek' Fan"; Klingon language lessons revisted; and a 9-year-old Whimsical Will voices the role of "Young Spock"!

"DEMENTED NEWS" FAVORITE! LISTEN!
Not one, but TWO (count 'em!) stories of exploding toilets and news of extended-life underwear with THREE (count 'em!) leg holes!

"DEMENTED NEWS" REQUEST! LISTEN!
Dementoid John requested this report from 1993: Billy Joel "interview"; Janis Ian terrorized by fan; a tour through Dr. Demento's archives!


AN ARCHIVE OF THE PAST YEAR IN "DEMENTED NEWS"

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 12/18/16 LISTEN!
12/18/16: WA squirrel wages war on Christmas light display; holiday news flashes!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 12/25/16 LISTEN!
12/25/16: An exclusive interview with Santa Claus... new for 2016!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/1/17 LISTEN!
1/1/17: Remembering the 1989 "Funny 25" preshow festivities! Dr. Demento arrives by helicopter... and Whimsical Will gets locked out!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/8/17 LISTEN!
1/8/17: Hatchimals toys accused of swearing; Barbie dropping f-bombs?!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/15/17 LISTEN!
1/15/17: Facebook blocks photo of Neptune statue for being too explicit; world's fastest bed clocks in at 83.8 mph!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/22/17 LISTEN!
1/22/17: NY man calls police to stop wind from blowing; flaming load of muffins closes Montreal highway!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 1/29/17 LISTEN!
1/29/17: Swiss company makes watch out of cheese for a million euros!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/5/17 LISTEN!
2/5/17: Czech artist sets record for most people inside a soap bubble; MA man fights ticket, blames it on speeding deer!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/12/17 LISTEN!
2/12/17: MI father and son arrested for fighting over onion; ID family surprised when moose falls through window!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/19/17 LISTEN!
2/19/17: Quebec morticians want to curtail funeral selfies; UK man arrested for having intimate relations with a street drain cover!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 2/26/17 LISTEN!
2/26/17: Italian restaurateur offers discount for well-behaved families; NASA announces winner of "Space Poop Challenge"!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/5/17 LISTEN!
3/5/17: Tormented by "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald" earworm; 30th anniversary of the "Demented News"!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/12/17 LISTEN!
3/12/17: Wedding dress made of burrito wrappers enters Taco Bell contest; Nintendo Switch video game cards taste disgusting!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/19/17 LISTEN!
3/19/17: FL lawyer's pants catch fire during arson trial; NZ man in shark costume robs gas station!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 3/26/17 LISTEN!
3/26/17: "Five-Second Rule" proven scientific; man mistakes cement mixer for woman!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/2/17 LISTEN!
4/2/17: Police called to OH Taco Bell drive-thru over sauce-selection fracas; Bejing public restroom requires facial scan for toilet paper dispensing!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/9/17 LISTEN!
4/9/17: UK woman jailed for repeatedly blaring Ed Sheeran song; UK man finds package delivered in toilet!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/16/17 LISTEN!
4/16/17: Canadian police issue pun-filled advisory over lettuce theft; cannibalism study fnds people are not very nutritious!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/23/17 LISTEN!
4/23/17: NZ airport evacuated over burnt toast; massive Mountain Dew spill causes huge foaming event in MI!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 4/30/17 LISTEN!
4/30/17: AK dentist pulls patient's tooth while riding hoverboard; hash browns recalled for possible golf ball contamination!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/7/17 LISTEN!
5/7/17: (From 2007) WI man gives friends clock-radio that is also hidden camera; shortage of ceremonial kilts for Scottish soldiers!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/14/17 LISTEN!
5/14/17: Security robot beat up in Silicon Valley parking lot; Blockbuster Video still thriving in Alaska!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/21/17 LISTEN!
5/21/17: Colombian woman eats life savings to get revenge on cheating husband; ransomware encrypts news!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 5/28/17 LISTEN!
5/28/17: (From 2011) WI postal carrier delivers in the nude; Vladimir Putin sings "Blueberry Hill"! (Note Ukraine & Crimea references... remember, this report is from 2011.)

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/4/17 LISTEN!
6/4/17: Dubai DJ sets record for longest underwater radio broadcast; Topless Cleaning owner arrested for stealing underwear!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/11/17 LISTEN!
6/11/17: MA clown barred from juggling at robbery trial; KY cable repairman clogs customer's toilet!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/18/17 LISTEN!
6/18/17: CA man shot by gun loaded with breakfast cereal; FL man steals motor oil in his pants!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 6/25/17 LISTEN!
6/25/17: Urinating in the AR courthouse elevator; Toronto man finds gun and shoots typewriter!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/2/17 LISTEN!
7/2/17: Californians alerted to earthquake that occured in 1925; AR mall worker wrestles stripper pole away from biting thief!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/9/17 LISTEN!
7/9/17: South Korean researchers design quacking car horn; New Zealand councilor warns about "falling fat people"!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/16/17 LISTEN!
7/16/17: Chocolate-snorting trend could pose health risks; London IT expert eats chocolate reproduction of his brain!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/23/17 LISTEN!
7/23/17: Russia worries that fidget spinners will turn kids against Kremlin; cane toad mating call compared to Barry White's crooning!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 7/30/17 LISTEN!
7/30/17: Global sand shortage; coffee recalled for Viagra-like ingredient!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/6/17 LISTEN!
8/6/17: Alice Cooper finds multi-million-dollar Andy Warhol artwork in 40-year-old storage; remembering Putin portrait painted with breasts!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/13/17 LISTEN!
8/13/17: UK man steals combine harvester, leads police on slow-speed chase; sailor rescued from toy dinghy that drifted out to sea!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/20/17 LISTEN!
8/20/17: A demented look at the solar eclipse, including news of a Texas woman who wants it rescheduled to be more convenient!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 8/27/17 LISTEN!
8/27/17: Study determines using emojis in work email makes the sender seem incompetent; drunk FL woman swims up and bites fisherman's line!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/3/17 LISTEN!
9/3/17: UK man outrages residents with hands-free pee while on cellphone; eclipse watchers put sunscreen in their eyes!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/10/17 LISTEN!
9/10/17: Spontaneous dancing still illegal in Sweden!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/17/17 LISTEN!
9/17/17: Farmers use dirty underwear to test soil; woman gets trapped in window trying to retrieve poo!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 9/24/17 LISTEN!
9/24/17: Set you hair on fire for a trendy, new look; UK family calls animal services to rescue lizard that turned out to be dirty sock!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/1/17 LISTEN!
10/1/17: Geneva toilets clogged with cash; chicken parts causes crash on Dallas interstate!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/8/17 LISTEN!
10/8/17: Toy traffic cone found in lung of UK man 40 years after inhaling it; counterfeit Barbie dolls!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/15/17 LISTEN!
10/15/17: NM University parking tickets can be paid with peanut butter; TX Toilet Seat Museum up for sale!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/22/17 LISTEN!
10/22/17: Beware of head lice luriking inside Halloween costumes; IA doughnut shop's creepy clowns deliver via ambulance!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 10/29/17 LISTEN!
10/29/17: American Association for Nude Recreation advocates body paint instead of costumes this Halloween!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/5/17 LISTEN!
11/5/17: Black-and-white TV generation may still dream in grayscale; TV repairman wedding!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/12/17 LISTEN!
11/12/17: Irish farmer drives tractor around town, looking for women; crop-field circle sighting!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/19/17 LISTEN!
11/19/17: Police interrogation ended due to suspect's flatulence!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 11/26/17 LISTEN!
11/26/17: Spilled load of books causes MA traffic jam; remembering CO literary litterbug!

"DEMENTED NEWS" -- 12/3/17 LISTEN!
12/3/17: Activision takes legal action against "Call of DooDee" dog waste removal service; Alibaba employee rewarded with lifetime supply of fish heads!


THIS WEEK'S "DEMENTED NEWS" -- 12/10/17 LISTEN!
12/10/17: Woman gets "Claus"-trophobic in Toronto mall, calls out Santa Claus!



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